First Step In Getting Your Ex Back

by Brian Barber

When I first wrote this, the title was ... Passion Preempts Partner Problems.
Incredible but true, an article website with a name based on ocean-beasts-with-tentacles (you guess!) refused to accept my article (based only on the title) because they thought it might be pornographic !!! Now let's get serious.

Human relationships are prone to problems. There are countless reasons for this, not least of which is summed up by the title of a once famous book: Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Meaning that men and women are completely different species and that therefore, the one trying to understand the other is practically impossible. Once you accept this, you will probably agree that total and complete understanding between the two sexes can never be achieved. It therefore follows that a relationship involving daily communication is by definition fraught with problems. All this sounds very theoretical...'til you come to real life.

Let's look at the practical side. One quarter of all marriages in North America ends in divorce. Don't get too excited by a failure rate of “only” one in four. In fact, it has been conservatively estimated that another quarter of North American marriages only appear to be held together because the couple has decided not to separate for reasons other than their relationship. The “classic” one being “for the sake of the children”, an absurdity since the children are well aware of the relationship collapse and suffer more by enduring its presence than from parental divorce. There are many others, such as inertia, guilt, shame, putting it off or practical financial considerations. To sum it up, probably half of North American marriages are or were a disaster.

All of which establishes that relationship breakdown is sadly, very common and as a result there is a gigantic need for help and advice on how to get, or keep people together. Responding to this need, and readily available on the Internet, is all sorts of help for those who have had a relationship breakdown. Articles abound. Websites, blogs, social media all address the subject. What to believe? Where to go? What to do...and how to do it? Lots of questions, and even more answers. Hardly surprising that the newly separated “go crazy” trying to find solutions, always in the hope of getting together again....or what the Internet has renamed “getting your ex back”.

Many of the solutions offered are very sound. Many of the step-by-step plans hold promise of success. Insufficiently emphasized is one very powerful starting point for keeping together, or if already “broken up”, getting back together again. It is Passion. Yes, good old fashioned, straight forward Passion. With a capital “P”!

Separation and break up of relationships are enormous problems. So much so that the victims involved become obsessed, quite rightly with finding solutions. Behaviors and blame. And attitudes. All of which have to be analyzed and addressed. However, as with an accident victim, although it is very important to find the causes, the immediate, critical, urgent need is to stop the bleeding. So it is with relationship breakdown. And this is where Passion can often stop the immediate bleeding of a loving relationship. Passion in the broadest sense...not just tearing your clothes off and leaping into bed!...but rather, things that are the proofs of LOVE.

It could be a smile, a touch, a kiss. It could be a bouquet of favourite flowers, a hand-written note (love letter) or a special treat or outing that lets the partner know, and feel, that this one truly loves me.....despite all other recent appearances to the contrary. In a word, what goes directly to the heart, instead of to the problems, with which both parties are now inundated. If you are drowning, you must get a lifeline...Quick!