by Brian Barber
When I first wrote this, the title was ... Passion Preempts Partner Problems.
Incredible but true, an article website with a name based on ocean-beasts-with-tentacles (you guess!) refused to accept my article (based only on the title) because they thought it might be pornographic !!! Now let's get serious.
Human relationships are prone to problems. There are countless reasons for this, not least of which is summed up by the title of a once famous book: Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Meaning that men and women are completely different species and that therefore, the one trying to understand the other is practically impossible. Once you accept this, you will probably agree that total and complete understanding between the two sexes can never be achieved. It therefore follows that a relationship involving daily communication is by definition fraught with problems. All this sounds very theoretical...'til you come to real life.
Let's look at the practical side. One quarter of all marriages in North America ends in divorce. Don't get too excited by a failure rate of “only” one in four. In fact, it has been conservatively estimated that another quarter of North American marriages only appear to be held together because the couple has decided not to separate for reasons other than their relationship. The “classic” one being “for the sake of the children”, an absurdity since the children are well aware of the relationship collapse and suffer more by enduring its presence than from parental divorce. There are many others, such as inertia, guilt, shame, putting it off or practical financial considerations. To sum it up, probably half of North American marriages are or were a disaster.
All of which establishes that relationship breakdown is sadly, very common and as a result there is a gigantic need for help and advice on how to get, or keep people together. Responding to this need, and readily available on the Internet, is all sorts of help for those who have had a relationship breakdown. Articles abound. Websites, blogs, social media all address the subject. What to believe? Where to go? What to do...and how to do it? Lots of questions, and even more answers. Hardly surprising that the newly separated “go crazy” trying to find solutions, always in the hope of getting together again....or what the Internet has renamed “getting your ex back”.
Many of the solutions offered are very sound. Many of the step-by-step plans hold promise of success. Insufficiently emphasized is one very powerful starting point for keeping together, or if already “broken up”, getting back together again. It is Passion. Yes, good old fashioned, straight forward Passion. With a capital “P”!
Separation and break up of relationships are enormous problems. So much so that the victims involved become obsessed, quite rightly with finding solutions. Behaviors and blame. And attitudes. All of which have to be analyzed and addressed. However, as with an accident victim, although it is very important to find the causes, the immediate, critical, urgent need is to stop the bleeding. So it is with relationship breakdown. And this is where Passion can often stop the immediate bleeding of a loving relationship. Passion in the broadest sense...not just tearing your clothes off and leaping into bed!...but rather, things that are the proofs of LOVE.
It could be a smile, a touch, a kiss. It could be a bouquet of favourite flowers, a hand-written note (love letter) or a special treat or outing that lets the partner know, and feel, that this one truly loves me.....despite all other recent appearances to the contrary. In a word, what goes directly to the heart, instead of to the problems, with which both parties are now inundated. If you are drowning, you must get a lifeline...Quick!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
“What Am I Doing Wrong”?
Have you ever said this to yourself, “It seems I can’t do anything right with men.”
Being a responsible person, you work hard at a fulfilling and sometimes demanding job. It’s not that you don’t try to be kind, gracious and patient, but none of that seems to be getting you anywhere. Perhaps the men you date don’t seem to appreciate you or if you’re married it might seem as though your husband seems less interested in your marriage than he did not so long ago.
You’re open to advice, but where should you turn?
If you can relate to this, there is good news. A wonderful book called, “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave,” will show you exactly the characteristics that men find irresistible in a woman. The good news is that these are things that ANY woman can apply. But there is one word of warning. These insights are powerful and might seem unconventional to a woman because they were designed by a man, to affect men. Please remember this rule: What works with women does not work with men.
Many women have come to this realization when they say these things, “The more I try to please him, the more distant he seems to become.” “When I ask him what’s wrong, he says nothing.”
If you’re a woman who feels frustrated in her relationships, there is good news. You don’t have to try harder, you simply need to know what to try. What you need is a blueprint of what men find captivating in a woman and most likely did in you, as well. “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave,” is a bestselling e-book that shows women exactly how to attract AND keep a man. This information can be yours simply by going after it, here.
Being a responsible person, you work hard at a fulfilling and sometimes demanding job. It’s not that you don’t try to be kind, gracious and patient, but none of that seems to be getting you anywhere. Perhaps the men you date don’t seem to appreciate you or if you’re married it might seem as though your husband seems less interested in your marriage than he did not so long ago.
You’re open to advice, but where should you turn?
If you can relate to this, there is good news. A wonderful book called, “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave,” will show you exactly the characteristics that men find irresistible in a woman. The good news is that these are things that ANY woman can apply. But there is one word of warning. These insights are powerful and might seem unconventional to a woman because they were designed by a man, to affect men. Please remember this rule: What works with women does not work with men.
Many women have come to this realization when they say these things, “The more I try to please him, the more distant he seems to become.” “When I ask him what’s wrong, he says nothing.”
If you’re a woman who feels frustrated in her relationships, there is good news. You don’t have to try harder, you simply need to know what to try. What you need is a blueprint of what men find captivating in a woman and most likely did in you, as well. “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave,” is a bestselling e-book that shows women exactly how to attract AND keep a man. This information can be yours simply by going after it, here.
“Why Do Some Women Always Date Losers?”
Do you know of someone who has a pattern of always dating losers, bad boys, who always break their heart and leave them crying? For those women, oftentimes they need help in identifying the signs of such unreliable men.
Let’s define a loser as a man who is totally into himself and has little empathy for a woman’s needs. He is a man who has a pattern of sweet talking women in an attempt to sweep them off their feet and into the nearest bed. He will wine you and dine you and tell you how beautiful you are and how lucky he is to have met you. These men are very good at what they do because they’ve had a lot of practice!
These men are wonderful in the beginning of a relationship; however, in time they most always become less attached and more distant to their partner. Some never call back, others break dates and some even “forget” their wallet and their date ends up paying for the meal. Have you ever met or dated a man such as this? Perhaps he never said he loved you, and whenever you spoke about commitment, he would change the subject.
The truth is that no woman ever wakes up in the morning and says to herself, “Today I need to find a man who will hurt me.” Rather what most often happens is that many women (and men) tend to confuse intensity with reliability. They meet someone who makes them FEEL wonderful or excited and they assume that he is a good man. The problem isn’t that their feelings are wrong. What gets them into trouble is that their intense feelings often cause them to ignore bad or inconsistent behavior that they would clearly see if they were not so emotionally involved.
What if there was a way to effortlessly attract men who are exciting as well as dependable? Not simply a technique, but a manual that showed how successful women captivate men in such a way that they never get mistreated.
What if information was available to transform you into the woman that men adore? Thankfully such information is available and it’s just one click away. “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave,” shows every woman the secrets to attract and keep the man of her dreams. This is where you can make your dreams reality
Let’s define a loser as a man who is totally into himself and has little empathy for a woman’s needs. He is a man who has a pattern of sweet talking women in an attempt to sweep them off their feet and into the nearest bed. He will wine you and dine you and tell you how beautiful you are and how lucky he is to have met you. These men are very good at what they do because they’ve had a lot of practice!
These men are wonderful in the beginning of a relationship; however, in time they most always become less attached and more distant to their partner. Some never call back, others break dates and some even “forget” their wallet and their date ends up paying for the meal. Have you ever met or dated a man such as this? Perhaps he never said he loved you, and whenever you spoke about commitment, he would change the subject.
The truth is that no woman ever wakes up in the morning and says to herself, “Today I need to find a man who will hurt me.” Rather what most often happens is that many women (and men) tend to confuse intensity with reliability. They meet someone who makes them FEEL wonderful or excited and they assume that he is a good man. The problem isn’t that their feelings are wrong. What gets them into trouble is that their intense feelings often cause them to ignore bad or inconsistent behavior that they would clearly see if they were not so emotionally involved.
What if there was a way to effortlessly attract men who are exciting as well as dependable? Not simply a technique, but a manual that showed how successful women captivate men in such a way that they never get mistreated.
What if information was available to transform you into the woman that men adore? Thankfully such information is available and it’s just one click away. “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave,” shows every woman the secrets to attract and keep the man of her dreams. This is where you can make your dreams reality
When it Comes to Men, Some Women Have It...and You Can Too!
Every day in my counseling office, I hear women say some variation of this:
“In the last few years, I have had relationships with men who, at first, seemed perfect for me. They were attentive, attractive and fun to be around. Then suddenly, as if they knew they had reeled me in, they stopped trying. They stopped calling as much, stopped taking me out and basically stopped the romantic dance that couples do when they are falling in love. Was it me? After all, I think I’m attractive, have a good personality and I work out to keep my body in nice shape. So why then, do I always end up with the men who become “couch potatoes” at my house? The men who would rather bring a six pack over and watch football all day and then expect me to fix dinner? Do I suddenly turn into just a “buddy” to them, the girl next door?
I see other women who, frankly, are not as attractive as I am or as thin as I am, who seem to get the “hot” men. I don’t necessarily mean gorgeous men, but the men who take them to nice restaurants, bring them flowers, take them dancing and, basically, “court” them. What secrets do they know that I don’t, because they certainly aren’t sharing them?”
Most women think a wonderful relationship is simply about finding the right man. The truth is that those women who have wonderful relationships didn’t necessarily know where to find good men, instead they attracted them. Would you like to learn how to attract and keep a wonderful man? The best way to find out probably isn’t by talking to a woman; instead, a man would be able to give you the secrets to a man’s heart.
My name is Bob Grant, L.P.C. author of “The Woman Men Adore” and I really want to help you, so I’d like to share with you the secrets that men find irresistible and powerless to resist. The dirty little secret is that having a perfect body isn’t nearly as important as you have been led to believe. You can discover this incredible information by simply going Here! Don't postpone...you need help now
“In the last few years, I have had relationships with men who, at first, seemed perfect for me. They were attentive, attractive and fun to be around. Then suddenly, as if they knew they had reeled me in, they stopped trying. They stopped calling as much, stopped taking me out and basically stopped the romantic dance that couples do when they are falling in love. Was it me? After all, I think I’m attractive, have a good personality and I work out to keep my body in nice shape. So why then, do I always end up with the men who become “couch potatoes” at my house? The men who would rather bring a six pack over and watch football all day and then expect me to fix dinner? Do I suddenly turn into just a “buddy” to them, the girl next door?
I see other women who, frankly, are not as attractive as I am or as thin as I am, who seem to get the “hot” men. I don’t necessarily mean gorgeous men, but the men who take them to nice restaurants, bring them flowers, take them dancing and, basically, “court” them. What secrets do they know that I don’t, because they certainly aren’t sharing them?”
Most women think a wonderful relationship is simply about finding the right man. The truth is that those women who have wonderful relationships didn’t necessarily know where to find good men, instead they attracted them. Would you like to learn how to attract and keep a wonderful man? The best way to find out probably isn’t by talking to a woman; instead, a man would be able to give you the secrets to a man’s heart.
My name is Bob Grant, L.P.C. author of “The Woman Men Adore” and I really want to help you, so I’d like to share with you the secrets that men find irresistible and powerless to resist. The dirty little secret is that having a perfect body isn’t nearly as important as you have been led to believe. You can discover this incredible information by simply going Here! Don't postpone...you need help now
“If Only I Could Understand Men….”
Men always say they can’t understand women, and that women are so complicated. Well, for many women, it is the exact opposite. Most would give anything to understand what makes men “tick.” Even though women want to know what he’s thinking, men are often reluctant to share what is in their hearts. What’s a woman to do? Rather than describe all the differences between the sexes, it is often more helpful to focus on a few areas that any woman can understand.
1) Men are more sensitive than women. While that might sound silly, the truth is that men don’t have the ability to recover from emotional trauma as effectively as a woman. Because of this, men keep themselves from getting too upset. When a man hears he should just “let his feelings out,” what he translates that into is this, “If I let my feelings out, I might not be able to control them.”
2) Men hate fighting. For men, conflict is not simply resolving a problem. Fighting, to a man, means one has to win and the other needs to be totally defeated. Men often prefer conflict that is non-emotional because it is less threatening to them. Once a conflict becomes emotionally charged, it is very difficult for a man to contain those feelings and the most frequent coping skill is for them to become quiet. It may seem like they are punishing you, but they are most likely trying not to lose control.
3) Men want to get married. In spite of what many progressive cultures preach, the truth is that a majority of men in the world do get married. While the freedom of being single has its appeal, it comes with one primary drawback – it is lonely. While this might not sound overly romantic, finding a woman that a man can trust is just as important as finding one who is beautiful.
If you liked these insights, there are more available in Bob Grant’s wonderful e-book called, “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave.” Bob Grant, L.P.C., has taken his 17 years of private practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor and Coach and condensed only the best information into a mouth-watering, powerful handbook on what men find themselves powerless to resist in a woman. You can have this information simply by going here. You need the best advice. Do it now!
1) Men are more sensitive than women. While that might sound silly, the truth is that men don’t have the ability to recover from emotional trauma as effectively as a woman. Because of this, men keep themselves from getting too upset. When a man hears he should just “let his feelings out,” what he translates that into is this, “If I let my feelings out, I might not be able to control them.”
2) Men hate fighting. For men, conflict is not simply resolving a problem. Fighting, to a man, means one has to win and the other needs to be totally defeated. Men often prefer conflict that is non-emotional because it is less threatening to them. Once a conflict becomes emotionally charged, it is very difficult for a man to contain those feelings and the most frequent coping skill is for them to become quiet. It may seem like they are punishing you, but they are most likely trying not to lose control.
3) Men want to get married. In spite of what many progressive cultures preach, the truth is that a majority of men in the world do get married. While the freedom of being single has its appeal, it comes with one primary drawback – it is lonely. While this might not sound overly romantic, finding a woman that a man can trust is just as important as finding one who is beautiful.
If you liked these insights, there are more available in Bob Grant’s wonderful e-book called, “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave.” Bob Grant, L.P.C., has taken his 17 years of private practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor and Coach and condensed only the best information into a mouth-watering, powerful handbook on what men find themselves powerless to resist in a woman. You can have this information simply by going here. You need the best advice. Do it now!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Best Seller Books On Relationships May Make A Fool Of You
If your ex has just broken up with you, you may be in the marketplace for books on relationships. But how do you choose the best books on relationships among the many offerings out there?
In this article, I will show you how to choose the best books on relationships. And the answer will surprise you. Read on…
First, don’t be fooled by fancy letters after an author’s name. There are many people who find school to be a convenient escape from real life. Instead of engaging with people, they spend their time in the classroom and library. As a result, they end up with a lot of letters after their names when they hit age 35. They use their degrees to indicate that they have “expert knowledge” of a situation. But does their expertise work in the real world?
Instead, you should look for books on relationships by authors who have been in the trenches. They’ve either put a bad relationship back together themselves or they have helped countless buddies do the same. These aren’t therapy patients that come in for the “fifty minute hour” either. These relationships are those of people the author cares deeply about.
Next, you want to find books that don’t boil down to “put the relationship aside for 30 days and work on yourself during that period.” This is all most “save your relationship” or “get your ex back” reports say. Many of the ebooks on the market turn that concept into 50 page documents. These are just pieces of fluff and don’t deserve your attention – or your money.
Instead, you should look for a book that will give you new information; information that you’re friends can’t give you.
For instance, will the book tell you what women crave the most? Will it give you a step by step guide for how to give it to her? Will the book show you how to recover from an affair? Will it give you specific techniques to get relief from your pain?
Finally, look at who is recommending the book. Do the testimonials seem a little generic? Were they written by the author’s brother and second cousin?
You want to find books on relationships that come recommended by a wide variety of people, in various situations, from all walks of life. If it looks like both a guy from England and a newly engaged woman from Kansas have used the book, chances are it will work for you.
There are many books on relationships on the market. Unfortunately, most of them are drivel because they weren’t written by someone in the trenches. As a result, they have generic advice that could be best summed up in a paragraph or two. Then, what recommendations the book can get are generic in nature, because the book really has nothing going for it.
Finding the best books on relationships can take a little work. But, everything about relationships are work. Shouldn’t you invest the time and money in the very best book out them? For my money, and I've spent a great deal of it researching this important subject, is The Magic Of Making Up, by T (Dub) Jackson. Be good to yourself. Check it out now....Take a look at the right book!
In this article, I will show you how to choose the best books on relationships. And the answer will surprise you. Read on…
First, don’t be fooled by fancy letters after an author’s name. There are many people who find school to be a convenient escape from real life. Instead of engaging with people, they spend their time in the classroom and library. As a result, they end up with a lot of letters after their names when they hit age 35. They use their degrees to indicate that they have “expert knowledge” of a situation. But does their expertise work in the real world?
Instead, you should look for books on relationships by authors who have been in the trenches. They’ve either put a bad relationship back together themselves or they have helped countless buddies do the same. These aren’t therapy patients that come in for the “fifty minute hour” either. These relationships are those of people the author cares deeply about.
Next, you want to find books that don’t boil down to “put the relationship aside for 30 days and work on yourself during that period.” This is all most “save your relationship” or “get your ex back” reports say. Many of the ebooks on the market turn that concept into 50 page documents. These are just pieces of fluff and don’t deserve your attention – or your money.
Instead, you should look for a book that will give you new information; information that you’re friends can’t give you.
For instance, will the book tell you what women crave the most? Will it give you a step by step guide for how to give it to her? Will the book show you how to recover from an affair? Will it give you specific techniques to get relief from your pain?
Finally, look at who is recommending the book. Do the testimonials seem a little generic? Were they written by the author’s brother and second cousin?
You want to find books on relationships that come recommended by a wide variety of people, in various situations, from all walks of life. If it looks like both a guy from England and a newly engaged woman from Kansas have used the book, chances are it will work for you.
There are many books on relationships on the market. Unfortunately, most of them are drivel because they weren’t written by someone in the trenches. As a result, they have generic advice that could be best summed up in a paragraph or two. Then, what recommendations the book can get are generic in nature, because the book really has nothing going for it.
Finding the best books on relationships can take a little work. But, everything about relationships are work. Shouldn’t you invest the time and money in the very best book out them? For my money, and I've spent a great deal of it researching this important subject, is The Magic Of Making Up, by T (Dub) Jackson. Be good to yourself. Check it out now....Take a look at the right book!
Advice on Relationships : How to Keep a Woman Happy
Do you know how to keep a woman happy? Here is some advice on relationships for men.
The first advice concerning relationships is to always be yourself. Many men don’t feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they put on a show. But a confident man is the sexiest beast around. Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women? That is because they display a level of confidence that is more attractive to women than physical looks.
Next, you should do the little things. This means offering to take her car in for an oil change or giving her a bag of Jelly Bellies (her favorite flavors) from time to time. Sometimes men think in terms of “grand gestures,” when it is really the little things that add up to long relationships.
This ties into the next piece of advice on relationships: appreciate her. You should never take her for granted. Let her know that you value her.
Next up is not obviously looking at other women when you are with her. A woman thinks that you are comparing her to the woman you’re looking at. They don’t understand the whole concept of “the day I stop looking is the day I die.” This comes from the biological drive for monogamy in women. Women are looking for a lifetime partner for a man with whom they can raise children. They can’t help it. That’s how evolution designed them. So minimize the ogling, especially when she’s around.
You should try to make her laugh. While men list good looks at the top of the things they need in a woman, women list a man’s sense of humor. So, if you want the relationship to last, keep her laughing.
The next bit of advice on relationships consists in seeking common interests. It’s great if you got together because of a hobby or an interest, but it still helps when you take an interest in a long standing passion of hers. If this means developing an appreciation for foreign films, so be it. This shows that you care about her and she’ll know you are one in a million.
Once you get the girl, it may seem like you don’t have to try anymore – at least as far as grooming goes. And, while women are less sensitive to looks than men are, they still like a man who makes an effort. So, shave on weekends. Keep in touch with the latest fashion trends for men. In short, don’t get sloppy just because you’ve landed her. You can un-land her just as easily.
She’s going to need to know that she can integrate you into her circle of family and friends. A man must be part of her larger life, especially after the first few weeks of passion are over. So, make an effort to get along with her girlfriends and impress her parents. A woman relies on her social network to validate her relationship choices. Make an effort.
You should always be considerate of her feelings. Women are less stable than men. Part of this is hormonal. When you are sensitive to her mood, you won’t get on her bad side.
The final piece of advice on relationships is to be open to trying new things. At the beginning of a relationship, everything is new from the types of dates you arrange to the way you kiss. But, after a while, these things become routine. If you find that your relationship has fallen into a rut, shake things up. Try something new. It will go a long way to keeping your relationship healthy.
So, there are ten bits of advice on relationships to keep your dating life strong. Look you guys, these things are common sense and the fact is I almost drove my sweetheart out of my life because I didn't pay attention to what I was doing. There is a book that woke me up written by T 'Dub' Jackson called "The Magic Of Making Up". After I read it and began applying his common sense suggestions, our love life turned around. All of my personal relationships, with friends, co-workers and my family have become much smother than they were before.
Check out "The Magic of Making Up" and....get that magic for yourselves!
The first advice concerning relationships is to always be yourself. Many men don’t feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they put on a show. But a confident man is the sexiest beast around. Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women? That is because they display a level of confidence that is more attractive to women than physical looks.
Next, you should do the little things. This means offering to take her car in for an oil change or giving her a bag of Jelly Bellies (her favorite flavors) from time to time. Sometimes men think in terms of “grand gestures,” when it is really the little things that add up to long relationships.
This ties into the next piece of advice on relationships: appreciate her. You should never take her for granted. Let her know that you value her.
Next up is not obviously looking at other women when you are with her. A woman thinks that you are comparing her to the woman you’re looking at. They don’t understand the whole concept of “the day I stop looking is the day I die.” This comes from the biological drive for monogamy in women. Women are looking for a lifetime partner for a man with whom they can raise children. They can’t help it. That’s how evolution designed them. So minimize the ogling, especially when she’s around.
You should try to make her laugh. While men list good looks at the top of the things they need in a woman, women list a man’s sense of humor. So, if you want the relationship to last, keep her laughing.
The next bit of advice on relationships consists in seeking common interests. It’s great if you got together because of a hobby or an interest, but it still helps when you take an interest in a long standing passion of hers. If this means developing an appreciation for foreign films, so be it. This shows that you care about her and she’ll know you are one in a million.
Once you get the girl, it may seem like you don’t have to try anymore – at least as far as grooming goes. And, while women are less sensitive to looks than men are, they still like a man who makes an effort. So, shave on weekends. Keep in touch with the latest fashion trends for men. In short, don’t get sloppy just because you’ve landed her. You can un-land her just as easily.
She’s going to need to know that she can integrate you into her circle of family and friends. A man must be part of her larger life, especially after the first few weeks of passion are over. So, make an effort to get along with her girlfriends and impress her parents. A woman relies on her social network to validate her relationship choices. Make an effort.
You should always be considerate of her feelings. Women are less stable than men. Part of this is hormonal. When you are sensitive to her mood, you won’t get on her bad side.
The final piece of advice on relationships is to be open to trying new things. At the beginning of a relationship, everything is new from the types of dates you arrange to the way you kiss. But, after a while, these things become routine. If you find that your relationship has fallen into a rut, shake things up. Try something new. It will go a long way to keeping your relationship healthy.
So, there are ten bits of advice on relationships to keep your dating life strong. Look you guys, these things are common sense and the fact is I almost drove my sweetheart out of my life because I didn't pay attention to what I was doing. There is a book that woke me up written by T 'Dub' Jackson called "The Magic Of Making Up". After I read it and began applying his common sense suggestions, our love life turned around. All of my personal relationships, with friends, co-workers and my family have become much smother than they were before.
Check out "The Magic of Making Up" and....get that magic for yourselves!
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